Queue the kerosene, standby matches

Not to make the existence of this blog any more controversial, but I've decided I'm going to go ahead and make some flat out endorsements. For the PU and GM, in contrast to the dry, vote-for-me, "world peace" approach that's been used by the The Polytechnic and the IFC, I'm going to ask for submissions detailing why your opponent should not be elected. I will, at some point between Sunday and Tuesday, announce which candidates "should not be GM" and "should not be PU" (warning: I'm not opposed to splitting those titles between both candidates, so make it good). For the senate races, I'm going with a last-person-standing policy. Whichever candidates escape my magnifying glass as the least unqualified people will likewise be spared recognition on this site.

I only ask that the emails come from your RPI mail accounts. I will not post any of your statements, I will only use them for research purposes, as my anonymity depends on yours. Be prepared for me to contact you to verify each thing you report. Don't worry about being negative; this is supposed to serve as a forum for the flaws of each candidate to be revealed before the vote, rather than after.

In other news, RNE has discovered a way to sign their decisions to give them more legitimacy:

Absent: Khaoula Benghanem

And Now, A Pasta Analogy

This blog is supposed to be a candidate colander. It's supposed to sort the good ones from the bad ones, to keep the races focused on what matters. Those of you who haven't been too absorbed with polishing up your CVs in the senate might have heard there's been a tuition hike that a lot of students can't afford, especially if there's no assurance it won't be the last. The T word, however, has yet to appear on a single poster.

The issue is the issues. Spare me the rest. Please, stop emailing me with "dirt." I don't care about "dirt." I don't care if it's true that someone picks their nose or smokes or drives too fast. It's irrelevant. Of course, don't expect me to be above pointing out acts of exceptional stupidity (public drunkeness), but likewise, don't forward me every email that suggests that a candidate didn't say "God Bless You" when you sneezed.

If you want to see garbage like that on the web, get your own damned blog.

"Michael Dillon Hates America," or "Why Bobby Fishel is Angry with the GM"

Rumor has it that the J-Board has received a complaint against GM Michael Dillon. The complaint, allegedly filed by Bobby Fishel, stems from Dillon's work on the Senate website that Bobby had neglected ahead of the election, work which may inspire the creation of a "Bernstein Award for Outstanding Web Design." I'm sure any proceedings will see the phrase "defamation of character" have its definition extended dramatically. Since putting up the website this weekend, the GM has given students valuable insight into the ineffectiveness of "their" student government, a lesson they'll hopefully carry with them when they vote to reject certain familiar faces next Wednesday.

As for the imminent allegations of "defamation of character," if Bobby Fishel is that concerned about how he's perceived by others, he should consider stopping blaming others for it and investigate potential causes he may have more control over.

Take a load off, Giles!

Something tells me I'm about to lose my status as your "humble" blogger. From the Senate website:



Forget Mr. Horvath, send me your guesses. We'll get a "Guess Who" board going up here, along with a support group for the growing number of people who've been falsely accused/credited with running this outfit.

And to answer your first question, no, I'm not wearing a hat.

Forget the rules, let's just do what feels good.

Update: this post in no longer valid, as the person in question is no longer a candidate.

Says RNE:

11. In limited circumstances (including temporary and permanent disabilities or the student’s non-local co-op status) the candidate may select a Candidate Proxy. RNE will evaluate the candidate’s request and develop a list of activities in which the Candidate Proxy may participate and limitations the Proxy must abide by.

b. The Candidate Proxy may not be running for any office.

Says RNE:

Class of 2006 Candidates

Position	Name	Party	E-Mail
Independent Council	Kim Conway	None	conwak@rpi.edu

Says RNE:

Nicholas Wood has been granted Kim Conway as his proxy for Senate 2007.

Vote: 3-0-1
Present: Matthew Newman (Chair), Khaoula Benghanem, Kim Conway, Mike Dillon (ex-officio), Dan Horvath, Elan Mendel
Absent: Kevin Morenski

Please contact RNE@union.rpi.edu with any questions.

Dear RNE,

Huh???

Vote Genesis, and pay for their campaign too!

Says Woodward:

Recently, I've heard that Genesis party officials are using the club printer in the union for campaign material. It seems there are plenty of free goodies (provided by our gracious activity fee) for incumbents to use and abuse.

That's old news, but your excellent choice of pseudonyms makes up for it. The latest is that all three of the "party officials" - Max Yates, Peter Baldwin and ex-webmaster Bobby Fishel were seen using student government supplies to keep themselves in office. Expect/hope for the hammer to fall in the next few days.

Neener, Neener, Neener!

Easter Egg: a dyed or decorated egg associated with Easter, or hidden goodies in a message, document, song or Student Senate website.

[Urkle Voice] Did I do that?

Those of you bored enough to be browsing the lack of a Senate website Sunday night would have been surprised to encounter the most amusing ultimatum to come out of the Student Government in a long, long time.



For a brief time, that message greeted every visitor to the address where the site would otherwise be. I know what you're wondering - did they hear me? Have I become that loud and obnoxious that people are paying attention, and demanding improvements from the student government? Only time will tell. What's for sure is that the minutes are now available, and should make for some interesting reading. For those of you who use them to find evidence that certain senators shouldn't be in possession of sharp objects and/or reproductive organs, be a good sport and send me an email.

In the meantime, Mike Dillon, the man supposedly behind the much-needed update to the site, should consider seeking re-election.

¿Dónde está el Web site del senado?

The web page of the Student Senate has been inexplicably absent from the annals of useless internet resources for quite some time. This is rather convenient for the Genesis party, the organization which is fielding, by far, the most (incompetent) incumbents, many of whom would be severely harmed by the disclosure of what fools they've been making of themselves and their constituents (YOU) on a weekly basis. However, any minutes or other documents pertaining to Senate affairs remain safely squirreled away within the hard drives of the Senators themselves, safe from malevolent bloggers like myself.

The Senate webmaster himself is, coincidentally, a member of the Genesis Party.

Genesis - the final chapter?

Multiple sources have confirmed that multiple ranking members of the Genesis party, by far the largest in this election, is under investigation for using Student Government resources for their own campaigns. This could involve anything from using a roll of tape from the GM's office to using the SG copy machines codes to make their hundreds of obnoxious flyers. Such abuses of power by incumbants, if verified, warrant their immediate disqualification from the race, if not a visit in front of the J-Board. While they deserve the assumption of innocence pending the results of the investigation, I can only ignore the same rumor so many times, and it's safe to say that some windows in the DCC are about to be freed up.

Why?

By now there's certainly speculation as to why I've been working so diligently to derail the student government. The truth is I'm laying the groundwork for a run for GM, but to do that I must first discredit each and every candidate, while at the same time digging up material with which to blackmail their immediate families.

If only I had the free time.

The student government has been failing the student body miserably. Its members, for the most part, serve themselves rather than the students. The purpose of this blog is to expose those failings, and find the candidates who will do better. The student government needs an overhaul, but it's not the constitution that needs amending: it's the roster.

The blackmail part can't hurt though.

Anonymous Coward 1, Bernstein 0

Props to the peanut gallery on catching this one.

Note we only have 1 person who has ever been through a GM Week election and they are not a voting member of the committee. Said person is Chair of the committee and also running for a senate seat...

Indeed, it's certainly a rebuilding year for RNE, of which two of its voting members are also appearing on ballots. Given these complexities, we should all make preparations to celebrate Thanksgiving without knowing who has won next month's election.

At least they know it's make-believe

Meet the Incertum Party:

We believe that student government should no longer be an annoyance for graduate students, and if elected we assure you that we will make no decisions and hence no decisions that you will disagree with.

This may force me to look into making an endorsement.

Tempered Temperance and Sorority Sisters

Bob Fishel, sophomore class senator, was reportedly wandering around the Union intoxicated last night. My source, however, abstained from administering a breathalizer test out of fear of making physical contact with him.

Meanwhile, word is that Fishel's party has drafted a few Pi Phi hunnies to compensate for something the Genesis ticket might be lacking, like candidates.

I am RNE, hear me roar

It looks like RNE held a meeting tonight, and no wrist was left unslapped. A couple of freshman put signs up where they weren't supposed to, some guy couldn't get his name changed on the ballot, and there was some hubbub about the Genesis Party sending out "unsolicited emails;" The highlight of the evening was probably Jesse Chase's disqualification from the GM race because he won't be attending RPI in the fall. Hat tip to RNE: that's one fraudulent GM candidate down, two more to go.

They also issued a grand proclaimation that no candidate can use private Union offices for their campaigns. I think it's safe to say the comparisons to the Volstead Act will be plentiful in the next week.

This would be intriguing if it mattered

Sources close to the GM race tell me that Jesse Chase is campaigning specifically as the spoiler candidate, hoping to hurt the Banana Party candidate and deliver the position for Max Yates. Chase, it should be noted, will be graduating in two months, potentially disqualifying him from running.

He's still collecting signatures, let's see how many non-Genesis people get smart and make him beg for the 500 he needs.

It must be a common name...

The Student Government has started this year's mockery of democracy with a bang.

A current member of the all-powerful Rules and Election Committee seems to already have some name recognition. The committee, called RNE by the Union's political powerbrokers, regulates every element of the election down to how many photocopies the candidates can make. For those of you missed the Saga of the Lying Senator last year, the Polytechnic story can be found here: Senator misleads students, faculty. Test your memory skills and see if you can figure out which name shows up in both places. The senate certainly couldn't when they named the person to RNE.

If only such lapses of judgement were more common; imagine, Jeffery Dahmer could be teaching at a culinary arts school somewhere.